i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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