Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
