just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
