what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
