Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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