As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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