just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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