you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
