Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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