we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
