so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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