Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
