The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
