Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
