Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
