so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
