We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
