Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im six kinds of drunk right now
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
