Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
