she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
