just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
