i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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