You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
zippers are such a cool invention
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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