TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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