i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
