Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
