You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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