So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
