he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
