I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
