Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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