New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We talked him into tasing himself.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
