Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
