Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
