I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
