He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
