Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
