OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
