I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
