she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
