You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
