haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
