a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
