i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
