I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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