We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
