this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
