roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
