In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
