he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
