We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
