I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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